


i'll surrender who i've been (for who you are)

by lunasasylum



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Archie's kind of a jerk in this, Discussion of Abortion, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jeronica, Past Abortion, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, Soul Bond, Soulmates, but the real focus is Ronnie & Juggie, so is Betty tbh, southside serpents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:24:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasasylum/pseuds/lunasasylum
Summary: // "Because I could feel my soul hurting," Veronica's voice starts breaking as she finishes explaining. "I thought you were hurt, but you're not. And that means that you're not my soulmate."//or Soulmate!AU in which Veronica finds out who her real soulmate is...





	1. we're tethered to the story

_Her day starts just as normal as another day in the week._

* * *

 

It's Tuesday, arguably the most uneventful day of the week. She kisses Archie goodbye and gets in the car that's waiting for her and arrives at work. She waits the two minutes in the elevator that it takes to get to the top floor and greets the people in her office. She steps through her glass doors, smiles at her assistant and pulls out the designs that have been sitting on her desk for the last two days.

It happens just after lunch, Veronica's in the middle of editing some designs with her assistant.

"Yeah, just some white right on the very edge, to make it pop, 'Lanie." She gestures to the hem of the dress and bites on her pen, reexamining the image.

'Lanie nods, jotting down notes while Veronica mutters something to herself. When her desk phone rings, she nods at 'Lanie to get it while she looks at the next skirt.

Just as she about to make another adjustment, her heart quickens, a blinding flash crosses her vision, and a sharp pain courses through her insides.

_Through her soul._

Fumbling with her phone out of her skirt pocket, Veronica calls Archie's phone, once, twice, three times with no answer. Fear pushes her out of her seat and drops the designs on her desk. Rushing out of her office, Veronica kicks off her heels at the building door and sprints down the street. She hasn't run in  _years_ , she hasn't needed to run, but it's the adrenaline that keeps her going. It's the adrenaline that pushes her to go even faster. She knows she must look ridiculous running down the street barefoot, in a dress shirt and skirt, but he's in trouble. 

_Her soulmate's in trouble._

An ache begins to shoot through her legs, and for a fraction of a second Veronica tries to remember the last time she had to move this fast. Wind whips her hair in every single direction and she can't even be bothered to pull it back. She knows the way home by heart, and she can't get there fast enough. Another white flash pulses through her vision and Veronica's heart is in her throat now.

Something small inside tells her she's going the wrong way, but she knows that Archie is at home, trying to finish a song for his next album. She ignores the light tugging that tries to push in some other direction and focuses on pushing through the bodies that stand in her way.

There's no possible way she could move faster, but she wills her body to push harder. Sweat begins to pool around her neck and forehead, dripping down her hairline. It's by no means hot outside, yet she's still covered in sweat by the time she reaches her apartment building. Opting for the stairs, Veronica nearly jumps up them trying to reach her floor as fast as humanly possible. 

Knowing her key is back in her purse at her office, she strong arms the door, trying to get to him before it's too late. Pushing through with her shoulder, Veronica breaks the frame of the door to get through and looks frantically around the room to find...

Archie sitting on the couch, strumming his guitar.

When he looks up and sees his wife in distress, he jumps up, walking over to her panting form. "Ronnie, what happened? Are you okay?"

Veronica's legs give out beneath her once she understands that Archie is completely fine. Crumpling on to the floor, Veronica begins to cry in confusion and anger.

_They're married._

_They are_ _married._

_How can they be married and not be each other's soulmates?_

_It's always been Archie, from the very beginning._

_She's always known that it was Archie._

_Oh, god._

Archie wraps his arms around her, lifting her up and sitting her on the couch.

"Speak to me, Ron. What's going on?" 

Waiting as she catches her breath, Archie brings her a glass of water, setting it on the coffee table in front of him.

Veronica coughs, her lungs burning from the almost 10 minute sprint back to her apartment, and drinks the water. The ache in her legs spreads throughout her entire body as she's filled with complete realization.

"Did you run here?" Archie asks, taking in her sweat soaked shirt and face. Her hair already began to frizz from the perspiration.

Dropping her head in her hands, Veronica takes a few deep breaths. "Yes, I did."

"Why? Did something happen at work?" Archie rubs her back, allowing her to sit up, and pushes her hair out of her eyes. "Talk to me, c'mon. What happened?"

Exhaling roughly, Veronica looks at her manicured nails. "I ran...because I thought you were hurt."

Her voice is barely above a whisper, and in the heat of the moment, Archie doesn't understand what she's saying.

"But, I'm not. I'm fine. Why would you think I was hurt?"

Veronica's eyes begin to burn as she starts to explain. "I knew my soulmate was hurt." Picking at her nails, she coughs again, the burn of her lungs spreading throughout her entire chest. "Because I could feel my soul hurting," Veronica's voice starts breaking as she finishes explaining. "I thought you were hurt, but you're not."

Wiping her palms on her skirt, she shifts away from Archie's comforting hands.

"And that means that you're not my soulmate." On the last word, Veronica nearly pukes, hating the way it sounds coming out of her mouth.

Archie sits next to her wide-eyed. "No, no, that's not true! You're wrong. Maybe it was something else, maybe you felt something else. It could've been someone else's feelings, you've always been really empathic. Ronnie, no. You're wrong. You're my soulmate. I'm your soulmate!"

Rising to her feet, Veronica's red eyes stare down at Archie. "You aren't! And I know what I felt! My soulmate was― _maybe still_ _is―_ hurt. It was too much, Archie. I couldn't handle it, I sprinted all the way from work because it hurt so much. For a few seconds, I couldn't see, hell, I couldn't _breathe_! I thought it was you, but it's not. You're fine and my soulmate is not."

Running a ragged hand through his hair, Archie looks up at her with wet eyes. "No. Ronnie. No. We're married, we're Archie and Veronica. We belong together."

"No, we don't," Veronica chokes out, a sob fighting it's way through her words. "We do not belong together."

Silence overtakes the room as the weight of the situation takes precedence. Veronica turns to look out of the windows. The beautiful glass windows that covered the entire wall so she could look out and admire her city. New York City. Her city. Their city.

They built a life together. It took so long to finally get it right. They'd been through so much, too much to not be each other's soulmates. She looks down at everyone walking on the sidewalk beneath her, living their lives while theirs was falling apart.

Resting her head against the cool glass, she lets her breath fog up the space. Unbuttoning her shirt, she sets her hands on her hips, wondering how she missed it.

She just loved him so much, she assumed it was him. It had to be him, he loved her. He truly loved her. 

_How could it not be him?_

Then, the realization that her soulmate― _her actual soulmate―_ is very hurt. Her soulmate was going through some sort of unbearable pain that pulled her to the brink of death. And that forces Veronica to the trash can in their kitchen, throwing up the contents of her stomach and dry heaving the rest of it.

Archie comes up behind her, rubbing her back. The vomiting then turns into crying and Veronica can't even be bothered to try and clean herself up. Tears streak her face and she sits on the floor, hiccupping and coughing again. Her entire body hurts, her head, her mind,  _her soul_.

It sucks because their entire lives have been upended and Veronica's main thought is the wellbeing of this person she's probably never met.

* * *

  _It's a Tuesday that takes Veronica's life and throws up in the air, laughing while she scrambles to catch it_ _._


	2. i could've faked it (but i couldn't see it through)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof because it's 1:46 AM.

_Jughead's day starts out as satisfied as any one person could be with their life._

* * *

 To be honest, Jughead was waiting for the ice to break through, he was waiting for the Artic waters beneath to overtake him. Things were going well. They had been going well for years, and that was a problem. This was real life, not a TV show. There were no happy endings. Everything could go okay for a while, but eventually something has to happen. Eventually someone was going to get in a car accident, or have heartburn that's actually a heart attack, or a headache that's actually a brain aneurysm, and then everything's over. 

He's always been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Still, when it happened, he wasn't as prepared as he thought he would be.

It happens on a Tuesday, most likely the most mundane day of the week. Betty leaves for work, kissing him on the cheek as she does, and makes her way to the office.

He went to his publisher's office, ready to discuss the dates for his book tour, and the (im)probability of a sequel.

Stepping into the building, he always paused to allow for slight shock. Jughead wasn't sure if he believed in luck or karma, regardless he knew he didn't have much good in either category. While it wasn't a skyscraper, it was still beautiful, all glass and shine. Almost like taking him into another world every time he came inside. The elevator ride was always short, but for some reason felt too long today.

Jughead's 'boss', Linda loved burning incense. He never really asked her why, but he figured everyone had their own thing. Linda was talking and gesturing animatedly, trying to convince to commit to more dates. This was always Linda, wanting the most work in the smallest amount of time. Despite her appearance of being unorganized, she took her job seriously. As they sat in her office, running through more calendar dates, she turned and knocked over two candles with her elbow.

What probably should've been a quickly contained small fire, turned into a blaze when the papers laying haphazardly across her desk caught fire as well. Pushing them off in reflex, the binders and folders stacked next to her desk began to burn.

Jumping back, Linda gasped as the paper's were consumed and the fire began to spread across her desk and office. Running out in front of Jughead, Linda ran past the fire alarm.

"Everyone out! Get out!" Linda screamed in her panic, favoring her own voice over the actual alarm.

People scrambled for the exits, yelling and pushing, not like the practiced drill they had months ago. Employees shoved themselves into the fire escapes and stairways, trying to rush out as fast as possible, but Jughead seemed to linger.

Something felt wrong, and he knew it was definitely  _not_ the time to play hero; if had he been writing this scene, he would've smacked his character in the face.

Pausing for mere moments to think, Jughead remembered the _new_ soundproof board room.

They had installed it for more professional meetings for the board members last week, but he wasn't sure if it was up to code with the rest of the building. 

_Why in the hell haven't the smoke detectors gone off yet?_

_Where are the damn sprinklers?_

Smoke began to fill the office space, his vision becoming darker and his lungs getting heavy as he crossed the room. Pushing through the door, he saw members of the office sitting, completely oblivious to the peril they were in. 

"There's a fire! We have to get out!" As the workers shot up, pushing out the door, Jughead was the last to exit. 

The fire had already spread to the general floor of the office, and the heat was overwhelming. As he ran to the stairs, he took one more glance around the floor, trying to ensure he wasn't missing anyone. Coughing and trying to clear his eyes, Jughead pushed out the door to the stairwell, body becoming heavy as he continued to move.

His lungs felt like they were  _burning_ as he moved down the stairs, getting slower with each step. Slightly pausing, Jughead's vision went dark and he coughed up blood on the floor in front of him. His eyes were watering and he could see the exit below, it just felt like it was getting farther and farther away.

Choking again, he threw up some more blood and tried rubbing the water out of his eyes. It got that much harder to breathe when smoke began filling the stairwell and Jughead could barely take in enough air to keep him alive. Inhaling roughly, it felt like there was no oxygen for him to even take in.

Exhaling just as quickly as he took it in, Jughead felt like gravity doubled down on him.

He nearly fell down the last set of stairs, almost out of the drive he needed to push himself out of the building. But, there was a tugging, a pull, a need to get out of that stairwell. Like there would be someone waiting on him to get out and he had to go see them. He wanted to call it Betty, it was different. The desire was pulling at his  _soul_. It was so internal he could only call it that.

Taking a few more steps, Jughead pushed out the door and collapsed on the street. He coughed a few more times as the sounds of the sirens got closer. The very last thing he clearly remembers is his dark, red blood on the concrete next to him. Like he was being spilled onto the very sidewalk he walked on only a few hours eariler

He remembers the next few hours in fragments.

The EMTs picking up his limp body, the sharp pains coursing through his body, the incessant desire to cough but not being able to clear his throat. He watched a documentary one time, saying that smoke inhalation was the primary cause of death for victims of indoor fires.

He'd become another statistic.

At some point he knew he'd passed out, but couldn't recall when. 

Behind his eyelids, not his dreams but something different, he felt pain. Not the physical kind, it was almost indescribable anguish. And, if he had been awake, the feeling would've taken his breath away.

When he woke up in the hospital, Betty was sitting in the chair by his bed, holding his hand. An oxygen mask sat on his face, and there was an IV in his arm. Reaching up to pull the mask off, Betty stopped him.

"No, don't Juggie," Her voice sounded strained and her eyes were red. "You need that. They're treating for smoke inhalation. You almost-you almost died, Jug." Her hair was pulled from it's usual ponytail, and she held his hand a little tighter. "You could've died in that fire. And I didn't even know you were hurt until they called me."

She paused, looking at him and waiting for some sort of reaction. Jughead simply stared at her in question.

_How else would she know that he was hurt?_

_They were dating, not telepathic._

Betty sighed, rubbing his hand. "I should've felt it. I should've been able to know that you were close to dying. If I," Betty choked back a cry, wiping her eyes. "If I was your soulmate, I would've known." Tears streamed down her face, as she tried to bite back her sounds.

Jughead's eyes widened in realization.

_She should've known._

Inhaling more oxygen, Jughead sunk back into his pillow. Confusion and anguish washed over him, like the Artic waters he'd been waiting on. Betty was still holding his hand, crying freely now.

"I didn't feel anything, I didn't even know you were hurt." Betty shuddered. "I was perfectly fine, sitting at my desk, doing my work. I didn't know you were dying down the street from me. I'm so sorry, Jug. I couldn't believe when they told me that you were in hospital. I didn't want to believe it. I just didn't want to believe that I wasn't your soulmate. I don't want to believe that we're not meant to be."

Their doctor came by, opening the curtain.

"Forsythe Pendleton Jones the Third. That's quite a name." 

He barely listened as the doctor described his diagnosis and treatment plan. Instead, he wondered how missed this. He counted himself as being observant enough to know when something was didn't fit. He knew when things didn't add up correctly. But, this slipped.

_How could Betty not be his soulmate?_

They'd been together for too long, it took too much time for them to get things right, and now this. His doctors words floated around him as he fell back into his own mind.

As terrible as it felt, his mind wandered to his soulmate. He wondered if they thought he was dead, he wondered if they were even alive.

_If they were still living, were they with someone else?_

_What if they already had a partner?_

_What if they were married?_

Then, thinking of the kind of pain his soulmate must've gone through when he almost died, Jughead's heart began racing. His vision began going in and out at the thought of causing his soulmate harm and he felt sick to his stomach.

This person that he's never met is probably about to send him into cardiac arrest because he's afraid he's hurt them. It was insane how protective he felt of somebody that he was sure he had never met before in his life.

There was always a tugging, something telling him that not everything was quite in it's place yet, but he'd tried to ignore it the best he could. He'd been handed so much crap in his life, he always thought Betty was one of the few good things the universe allowed him. They worked so hard to get together and stay together, after college, once they began working. He thought of the nights that his books kept him away from bed and the nights when she worked straight into the morning. There were times they didn't see each other for over 36 hours.

For all he knew, his soulmate was in a bum on the street or in prison, or worse: working for a desk job at a corporate enterprise.

Regardless, everything he knew had been taken from him, and the odd pursuit of this person that he's supposed to spend the rest of his life with filled him. His soulmate, he'd just put them through unbearable pain, and he wasn't even dead.

And that thought _― putting his soulmate through hell―_ brought up his breakfast. Pulling his oxygen mask off, he gestured for a bucket and retched. It felt almost violent, like his body was forcing the idea of hurting his soulmate out of him entirely. Coughing as he finished, he felt Betty's hand on his back and he leaned back on his bed.

Still, everything hurts. His lungs, his heart, his head, his  _soul_ hurt. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt.

The pain was unlike anything he'd ever felt.

* * *

_Jughead finished the day with an ache in his soul that he didn't know how to fill._


	3. now all your love is wasted (who the hell was i?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you think I proofread this shit, you are very sadly mistaken,  
> ir's two in the morning,  
> which seems to be the only time i update, oh no

Veronica doesn't sleep that night, or the next three nights.

She loves Archie, she knows that she does. But, there's something inside so much stronger than her love for Archie. It pulls at her soul, it lets her know that her soulmate is alive. She knows they're still alive, she can feel their heart beating in her soul. She just wishes she knew where they were, or how to find them.

Everyday without them, the ache grows stronger and stronger and it's all she can do to not run off in search of them.

She often finds herself wondering if Archie feels the same way, if he thinks of his soulmate constantly. She wonders if the idea of his actual soulmate consumes him, like it consumes her. Most days Veronica can't even think without the thoughts of her soulmate encroaching on her. And, the longer she spends without them, the worse it gets.

She's filled with the constant wonder about the state of their mind, their body, their soul. She wonders how they almost died, and prays to whatever deity there is that her soulmate is not an adrenaline junkie.

One day, Veronica takes herself to the doctor, seeking some sort of relief. She leaves work early enough to get home on time so Archie wouldn't suspect anything. She loves her husband, but there's something about this that he just would not understand. He doesn't understand what it is to feel the (near) last seconds of your soulmate's life. He doesn't understand the pain and the agony.

She needs someone to explain it to her, to explain to her why she can't just move on.

"It just takes over everything. I can barely eat and sleep without wondering if they're doing the same thing, or if they're safe. I can't do my job correctly, it's like an obsession." Veronica confesses, wiping her palms on her skirt. "My mind's constantly racing, I can't even sit down. I always feel like I should be somewhere, and I'm never there, I'm never in the right place. Just please tell me there is something I do or take to make it stop."

Shaking her head, Dr. Casey sighed. "I'm sorry, Veronica, but this only going to get worse. We have soulmates for a reason. You're not supposed to be without, and the longer you go without them, this will only get worse. Many people don't really understand why we have soulmates, they only know that there's someone they're supposed to be with until they die. All of the atoms that compose you, as a person, were once joined, and in the creation of the bigger affairs like the planets, stars, and galaxies, they were separated. Now, they're able to rejoin. This is why you can feel when your soulmate is danger, the atoms are excited in  _both_ souls, not just one."

Opening a file, she began to read. "Intrusive thoughts, agitation, and anxiety, these are symptoms of PLS, Prolonged Soulmate Separation. Your souls need to reunited, it's the work of the universe, and when you continue to fight against the universe, the universe will start to fight against you."

"Disorganized behavior, restlessness, synonymous thinking, you'll begin to share your soulmate's life. What they think, what they feel, they'll become just as much yours as you are theirs. This person is having the same thoughts as you, and probably worse considering they almost died without you."

Running her hands through her hair. "So, what do I do?"

"Find your soulmate."

Groaning, Veronica rolls her eyes. Obviously that was what she needed to do. Digging her fingernails into the chair handle, Veronica tries to contain her frustration.

"What can I do besides that?"

Dr. Casey crosses her hands and leans forward. "You know your roots Veronica. As bad as your parents were, they were soulmates, and they were destined to be together. Your family isn't like every other one. They're more  _primal_. It's different for you, you'll  _need_ your soulmate to survive, sooner or later. You're not going to be able to live without them. Unless one of you dies before you two rejoin, this feeling won't stop."

"Stop thinking so much and listen to your soul, it'll guide you back to them."

The visit was ultimately uneventful. Other than learning that she'd basically go insane without her soulmate, Veronica left her doctor's office with no new information. 

She couldn't even imagine things getting worse until she gets home, and feels her heart racing. She knows it's not her, she knows it's her soulmate, the only part she doesn't know is why. And, it's the why that keeps her up, that stops her from eating or sleeping, it's the why that stops her from focusing. She can't concentrate on anything that's not her soulmate for longer than a minute, and now something is happening to them and she doesn't know what it is or how to stop it.

Her pupils feel like they grow almost impossibly in size, and her body gets hot all over.

_What the hell is happening?_

A wave of passion overtakes her, and the idea of someone touching her soulmate― _her soulmate―_ makes her bubble with anger so hot it feels like it burns her heart. As soon as she recognized her anger, she knew her pupils were blown with it. Something came over in the worst way, raw instinct took over her actual intellect and the strong desire to  _protectprotectprotect_ overwhelms her along the primitive thoughts of _mineminemine_.

The instinct is purely animal in nature, and even though she can't see her soulmate, Veronica thinks as hard as she can.

_No._

In a matter of seconds the hot feeling passed, and her mind loses the dark red cloud.

They heard her, they had to have heard her because she spoke with her damn soul. 

When she said no, she meant no.

Veronica does her best to eat, turning up the TV and playing music to drown out the sound of her thoughts. She wants to forget the feeling, she wants to forget how angry she was when she understood what her soulmate was doing, or was about to do. 

The feeling was foreign, but felt unbelievably right. Veronica's always had strong protective instincts, it was ingrained in her from a young. 

_"You must fight to protect the family, mija."_

She worked hard to keep the people she loved safe, and for this one person, it felt like everything was thrown into overdrive. 

Veronica needs her soulmate.

* * *

 For the third night that week, Jughead gets up out of bed and makes a cup of coffee. It was another sleepless night and he suspected that somewhere, someone in the world was having the exact same issue as him. As the smell of ground coffee beans fills the small kitchen, Jughead lets his mind passively wander back to his soulmate.

He couldn't stop beating himself up over nearly dying; the amount of stress and pain on his soulmate must've been nearly unbearable. He's pretty sure hurting his soulmate hurt him much more than almost dying. 

And so, at 4 in the morning, he allows himself to think of them. The one person who's supposedly more connected to him than anyone else on the planet. He never truly believed in the idea of soulmates, or more never let himself believe that he had one. It wasn't too rare to be born without a soulmate, to be born alone in the world. But, there was something so melancholy about it that he felt like it just fit him.

Thoughts of his soulmate grew to the point where he could barely do the simplest things without thinking of them.

He tried to focus on Betty, he tried to touch her, to want her as much as he wanted his soulmate. But the second he tried touching her, tried wanting in the way he wanted to be with this person he didn't know, a thick haze fell over him and  _minemineminemine_ followed by a heavy wave of  _stopstopstop._

Jumping back, it felt like he'd burned his palms. And though the look on Betty's face was pained, nothing hurt him more than thought of his soulmate in pain because of what he was doing.

_No._

Of course, his soulmate is probably insecure and possessive. But, he can't blame them either, he wouldn't be happy if he knew his soulmate was getting it on with some random person.

So, he pulled away from Betty, apologizing and going for a walk to clear his head.

_Sorry._

He thinks to his soulmate, not believing they'd even hear him, not believing they'd even care.

_It's okay._

Jughead spins around, the voice sounded so close and so real, and when he realizes that it's in his head, he groans. He knew this would happen, he knew they would eventually get this close. He'd been to too many doctors to not know what would happen if he didn't find his soulmate.

But, he knew it wasn't supposed to be this bad. They had said that he might have encountered his soulmate before and the subsequent separation would make their bond even worse. 

Trying to shake off the voice, Jughead kept walking. But, he couldn't help but analyze the voice. It sounded feminine, so maybe it was a woman. Jughead really had no preferences, but he can't remember any specific girl he'd encountered in his life and left.

Returning home, he wanted to tell Betty about it. His first instinct is always to tell Betty, but he doesn't know how she'll react.

Logically, Betty had to be thinking about her soulmate too. He just wondered the thoughts overwhelmed her like it overwhelmed him. He wondered if she laid awake at night, thinking about them. He wondered if she sat down for hours trying to conjure their face in her mind. Still, he knew it was only him. Only he would be still for almost two hours just to feel their heart beating in his soul. 

He worried about them. He knew that his near death could've almost killed them too, and there's nothing he wants more than to apologize for that. He wants them to understand that he'd never do anything like that to hurt them again.

But, he can't.

And it's the helplessness that makes him restless. It's the inability to actively comfort this one person that his soul yearns for that keeps him up for days on end.

Nothing had ever hurt him like knowing that he hurt them.

Jughead knew what he was. It had been ingrained him since he was young, his dad always told reassured him.

_"Take care of the ones you love, Jughead. Protect them. Die for them."_

He talks to his dad about it. About how all encompassing it has become for him.

"I think about them constantly. It's not even constant, actually. All I think about is them. All the time. Every day since the fire, it's just them. And I feel like an asshole, because I'm still living with Betty and it's this one thing that we're not talking about. But, it's the only thing that matters to me. I just don't know what to do. We had a future together. Or, I thought we did. Now, I can't picture the rest of my life without this person that I've never seen before."

F.P. coughs over the phone and sighs. "Jug, I never found my soulmate, I thought it was your mom, but it wasn't. I don't want you to end up alone, and miserable. If you don't find them, you will be miserable. You're not supposed to be without them, that's kind of the whole point of having them. Now I know you love Betty, I know that. But, from what I'm hearing your soulmate is more than love. It's a bond. One that's only broken by death. And that's pretty fucking strong if you ask me. This person is probably thinking about you just as much as you're thinking about them, especially 'cause you almost died and left them."

"I'm not saying you pack up your shit and leave Betty. I'm just saying, by trying to be an honorable man, you'll start hurting her. In ways she might never be able to forgive you for. You need to talk to her, tell what's running through your mind. Even if she's not your soulmate, she's still your partner, your best friend. She should why you're acting like a douche."

Not as eloquent as Jughead had hoped for, but it's definitely what he needed to hear.

Jughead needs to find his goddamn soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refer to their soulmates as 'them' because it's gender-neutral and they're not going to assume that their soulmate is a (wo)man. And, they're both open to it being whoever they're meant to be with. 
> 
> :)


	4. you're in my veins (and i cannot get you out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I haven't updated in almost three months! 
> 
> I'm so sorry about that, I just graduated high school and things have been pretty hectic in my life. 
> 
> I did miss this story and I totally forgot where I left off, so this is a filler chapter in preparation for a new one next week!

Veronica looks at the clock and sighs, staring back up at the ceiling. It's nearing the time that she should start getting ready for the day, but she really didn't want to. Stretching her legs out, Veronica waits a few minutes, going through her plans, and then groans out loud.

_"Are you up too?"_

_"I've been awake for a while, yeah. Trying to finish a sentence, but I can't think of the word."_

Smiling, Veronica wants to squeal. Her life is by no means back to normal, she still hasn't met her soulmate, but she knows what his voice sounds like. And, she know the most rational thing is to ask where he is and then meet him, but for some reason they've both been holding off on that. Instead, they spend their time telecommunicating while Veronica's at work and her soulmate is writing or walking in the park.

She laughs as he asks for words that he can't seem to remember, which is basically them playing a guessing game until he finds a word to fit the story. 

_"Do you know the word for like thinking?"_

_"What?"_

_"Like it's not 'thinking', but it's like 'mental' but not— _"__

_"Cognitive."_

_"Yes!"_

Veronica talked with him so much, she almost felt like she knew everything about him. She told him that she wouldn't tell him her name, because once she told him, he'd know who she was and then he'd hate her. Even though he assured her that there was no possible way he could hate her ("we're kind of stuck together for eternity."), she didn't want him to like her because they were destined to be together. She wanted acceptance because he liked her enough to look past her flaws, not because they were about to spend the rest of their lives together.

Veronica realizes that she's essentially dating her soulmate.

He told her that he wouldn't tell her his name because once she knew, she'd laugh. 

(She told him that he was probably right.)

So, instead, they talked about everything else.

He tells Veronica that he's a cis-gender, heterosexual, white male, and Veronica wants to laughs because she's already got one of those. She tells him that she's a cis-gender bisexual, Latina. She's a total advocate for women's rights and works hard to ensure there's equality in her workplace. 

Veronica didn't talk about her childhood, and neither did he. She talked about her friends, her college experience, her job. She told him about her worst nightmares, the ones that still fought their way to the forefront of her memory sometimes when she slept at night. She never talked about Archie, never about her previous relationships. Veronica talked about her favorite clothes, her favorite movies to watch, and her favorite books to read and then reread. She told him that she hates mayo and chicken together.

As far as soulmates go, Veronica thinks the universe has done a pretty good job. She's never known anyone as easy to talk to as him, she was so comfortable around him she almost forgot about the mental blocks she set up to keep from talking about her family.

Her family was a house that she would never ever let him, not even on a guided tour.

She misses him so bad when she comes home and he's not there. Yes, he's the voice in her head, but she's never been able to roll into his arms. Somehow, still she feels it's better that way. She knows he would be disappointed by what he finds if they were to actually meet. Veronica's been called shallow and self-centered practically since the day she was born. She's always been 'materialistic' and privileged. And her soulmate is down to earth, and honest, and caring.

She'd never deserve him.

Still, their conversation is smooth, and with each communication, she feels herself slipping away from Archie and her life, and pulling to her soulmate.

_"I think I miss you."_

Veronica cringes at her own vulnerability, but it's almost as if it was ripped out of her.

_"I think I miss you, too."_

It makes her want to smile.

She rolls over, hugging another pillow to her body. Veronica falls asleep, telling him to wake her up in 10 minutes.

* * *

It's torture. 

That's what Jughead knows. He knows that hearing his soulmate's voice and not meeting them is one the most painful things he's ever experienced.

He gets to listen as she goes through the whole day at work. She curses in her head when things are done sloppily, she talks to herself when she's sketching, and sings to herself while she's shopping.

She asks him quick questions, wanting his knee-jerk answers.

_"White or grey skirt?"_

_"Grey."_

He has no idea what she looks like in her skirt, or if she even listens to him, but she's honest and he likes that.

_"The grey makes my thighs look disproportionate."_

_"So?"_

_"Okay."_

Jughead tells her almost everything. He talks about his rocky college life, being diagnosed with bipolar depression, and the will it took for him to stop smoking cigarettes. She doesn't judge him, she tells him that she thinks smoking is disgusting, but that she's had one on occasion when she's too stressed out and that it was hard to drop the habit, no matter how irregular it was.

He talks about how difficult the writing process is and how much he despises writing middles. He can write a fantastic beginning and an amazing end, but a middle is not his favorite part.

She tells him that she doesn't care for middles, she simply wants to now how things start and finish. Nothing in the middle will ever be as important as how it starts or how it all ends. He wants to tell her that they've already had a spectacular beginning, better than anything he'd ever write, but he doesn't. He doesn't want to think about how they'll end.

Jughead finds himself afraid of falling in love with her, this woman he's never met before, who's better for him than anyone else in the world.

Sometimes, when they talk, he forgets that she's not next to him. He forgets that they've never met, he forgets that she doesn't come home to him. And, then the ache gets worse. He knows she feels it too. It cuts through them both simultaneously, whenever they share something intimate, a deep longing runs through them. Sometimes it's painful other times it's more like a phantom ache. But it always leaves them both panting and gasping for air.

He knows that they should just meet, but he can't help but know that she'll be disappointed by what she finds. He's had bags under his eyes since the sixth grade, his hair's grown long, touching his shoulders, and he doesn't exactly shop with the trends.

It's not like he's unattractive, just not ideal, and definitely not someone worth dying over. Plus, given his family history, girls aren't exactly fighting to be his soulmate. But, something tells him that she feels the same way. Maybe she feels like he's just a little too out of her league.

Chuckling, he knew she couldn't have been more wrong. Just from the way she spoke, he knew that she came from money. Her grammar, even with her inner voice, was nearly impeccable.

But, she made references to the same movies and book he enjoyed. She utilized quotes by Truman Capote like she wrote them herself, and Jughead was sure that she couldn't be real.

Maybe he was in a coma and this was just his desire for someone to pass the time with him. 

Still, if it was...why wouldn't he just dream up Betty?

Did that mean Betty wasn't his ideal girl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, that was pretty terrible. I'm so sorry, oh wow. Stay with me, things are just starting!


	5. it falls to death (so talk with me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 in the morning, holy heck.

"Ronnie, we need to talk."

Veronica looks up from her desk to see Archie standing in the doorway. Taking off her glasses, she rushes to her feet.

_Oh shit._

Her soulmate either wakes up or perks up to her exclamation.

_What happened? Are you okay?_

"Yeah, come in, sit down." Veronica gestures to the chairs in office, watching him walk over and take a seat. She suddenly can't remember the last time Archie was in her office. It was probably when her company first opened, and he brought champagne to celebrate. It was one of the happiest days of her life.

Things had been so much simpler then. She thought Archie was her soulmate, and she loved him. They had just bought the penthouse, Archie was going to start touring for his newest album, and her designs were going to be in New York Fashion Week. 

Everything was so perfect. She should've known that things would eventually come crashing down.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" She asks, watching as he wipes his palms on his jeans.

Archie inhales slowly, and clears his throat. "Ronnie, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to do it." Looking out the window, then back at her, he nods. "I love you so much, more than anything in this world. And, all I want is for you to be happy." He looks so sincere, Veronica smiles and tilts her head. "That's why I want a divorce."

_Oh my gosh._

It feels like someone's punched the breath out of her body. The noise that Veronica makes is just this side of distressing, and it's enough for her soulmate to start worrying.

_Are you okay? What's going on?_

"Oh. Okay." She doesn't feel like crying, but something damp and cold falls over her body. Flashes of her and Archie through the years race through her mind, and then flashes of her parents follow soon after. She remembers her mother telling her what she was, why she'd never be normal, why she'd probably never get it right with anyone.

She remembers the first time she told Archie she loved him, how it felt like the only way to save their dying relationship, how she felt prompted to say it. Veronica wants to scream, or cry, or vomit, and she almost does.

But, then she hears her mother's voice in her head after her best friend betrayed her, spreading rumors about her after her dad was arrested. She remembers her mom pulling up her head, looking at Veronica with stone cold eyes.

_"You're a Lodge, mija. Lodges don't crack, they don't break, they don't fall apart. Dry your eyes. Fight fire with fire. And smoke her out!"_

"Okay. Okay. Okay." Archie watches as she almost falls apart, takes a deep breath, and steels herself. He's seen her do it so many times, it looks like second nature. He watched her do it when her father died, it almost scary how quickly she picked herself up. Her eyes set back into a darker brown, her shoulders tense, and jaw clenches. It's like every muscle in her body goes into 'fight or flight' mode. Nodding slowly, Veronica breathes out and looks directly at Archie.

"Okay. I'll have my lawyer draw up some papers, if you send her an email detailing what you want, it shouldn't be too hard to get this completed. Seeing as how we don't have too many shared assets, or any children, this won't be a long process." Veronica speaks in monotone, uncrossing her legs and standing up to walk behind her desk. 

Archie tries to follow her, grabbing her hand, but Veronica flinches like she's been burned. "Ronnie, wait." She spins on her heel, staring up at him, her shoulders tense. "Don't do that. Don't shut down on me. Just listen..."

"You came here with something to say, you've said it, I responded appropriately to your request. And now I'm asking you to please leave. I have a lot of work to finish."

Sitting at her desk, Veronica puts her glasses back on, and listens as Archie waits for a minute before walking out of her office. 

She waits 10 minutes, tells her assistant she'll be stepping out for a minute, and walks to the roof. The door shuts tightly behind her and she lets out heaving sob. It chokes it's way out of her mouth, leaving her gasping for breath.

_Please talk to me. Tell me you're okay._

Veronica honestly doesn't know what happened next. A warm feeling flooded her insides and allowed her to catch her breath. It was followed by a cool sweep of air, like someone brushing the hair out of her face. Her body relaxed underneath the light pressure and she uncurled her fists. Inhaling deeply, she feels her breath come easier, her muscles relaxing with each one. The knots in her shoulders relax and she releases her hands from her fists.

The heaving stops and the bile rising in her throat dissipates. Coughing lightly, she straightens her back.

_I'm alright. At least I am now._

Another warm feeling passes over her and she sinks into this time, allowing herself to be completely overtaken by comfort.

_Better?_

Veronica sighs, running a hand thorough her hair.

_Better. How'd you do that?_

_It's called flooding, I heard about it when I was doing some research for a book a few months ago. You were panicking and I didn't know what to do, and that's all I could think of._

Leaning back against the door, another breeze catches her face and she smiles.

* * *

 Jughead lays back on his bed, knowing that his soulmate is calm brings him much needed peace. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he groans.

He needs her. He physically needs her around now, all he's been able to think about for the last week is her and everything she's doing, and who she's with, and if she's feeling okay.

_Stop thinking so much, I'm trying to sleep._

Chuckling, Jughead rolls over, almost like he was going to talk to her, and the coldness swipes over him when he remembers she's not there. Even her inner voice is sleep filled and scratchy.

_Sorry. I forgot that my mind is not my own anymore._

He imagines her laying on her stomach in bed, hands tucked under her pillow, hair wrapped up in something that bears the semblance of a bun. As composed and professional as she presents herself, he likes to think she sleeps in some old t-shirt and shorts, wrinkled with holes in them. He likes to think of her as somebody with more than one layer of personality. He wouldn't mind unraveling her, taking her apart piece by piece, constantly learning something new about her. She'd be a puzzle he could spend the rest of his life working on.

_I wear a silk cap to bed, I would never leave my hair out when I'm going to sleep, I'm not reckless._

Even sleep-drunk, her inner voice is indignant and passionate, and he knows he's falling in love with his soulmate.

Everything she does makes him want to be there with her, makes him want to experience it with her. He swears if he could go back and do it all again, he'd do everything the same, he'd just want to do it with her. All the things that she is fills him with light, the darkest spaces of his mind are illuminated by her laughter and her voice, she's beautiful.

He's never seen her. But, she knows he's beautiful.

But, there's Betty. And that's what makes him sick, sitting in an apartment with his girlfriend and thinking of another woman, yearning to be with another woman. He knows he needs to talk to her, to figure something out. But, he knows the longer he stays without his soulmate the harder things are going to get for everyone involved in the situation.

One night he tries to sit her down and talk to her, he tries to explain what's going on, and why the need to start figuring out an arrangement but things go south.

She asks if he's cheating on her and he takes a second too long to respond. He tells her no, but inside he's not really sure. He has been picturing himself with another woman, spending the rest of his life with a faceless, nameless woman instead of his girlfriend.

But, is it really his fault?

She's his soulmate. They're literally meant to be together. He can't help wanting to be near her. It's not his fault, everything has just been out of his control lately.

He tells her that he'll always love her, in his head he adds that he's loved his soulmate since the beginning of time and he can't change that. Then Betty asks if he could change things, would he make her his soulmate, and when Jughead doesn't answer at all she storms out.

He knew his immediate answer should've been "Yes, I want you to be my soulmate," but there was something locking his jaw, keeping him from answering.

Keeping him from telling a lie.

Jughead had been with Betty for most of his life, but his soulmate brought him something different. She wasn't Betty at all, she was a bit darker, louder, always vocal about the things that bothered her. And, somehow she was still scared and vulnerable in a way that brought out a fierce protectiveness that he thought he'd locked away years ago. Jughead wasn't ignorant of his upbringing, he knew where he came from, he knew who he was.

So, maybe that's why Betty wasn't his soulmate. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be able lock away something that he was born with, something that burned inside of him every time he heard his soulmate's voice. He wasn't able to shut down an entire portion of his anatomy. 

Every time she spoke, every time she greeted him whether tired or energized, every time he realized her mind was aimlessly drifting he wanted to be with her, wanted her to want him back just as much. 

It almost wasn't enough anymore, he needed her, and he needed her bad.

* * *

  _It wouldn't be enough until all the things keeping them apart were pulled out of the way._


	6. why do i keep running from the truth? (all i ever think about is you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, I wrote this at a decent time! 
> 
> 8:42 PM.
> 
> Enjoy!

Sunlight streams in through the window and right into Jughead's eyes. Rolling off the couch, Jughead cracks his back and shuffles over to the kitchen.

His soulmate has already been up for a few hours and he's so used to her getting up early that he hears her voice while he's sleeping. He puts the pot on to make some coffee and then goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He knows that Betty had an early morning and she left without saying goodbye as she's done for the last two weeks.

Maybe Jughead spends too long thinking and staring at his reflection in the mirror, because then she chimes in.

_Hi, it's me, 'the other woman.' Anyways, you do know this literally the one thing neither of us can control? It's not your fault._

Nodding to nobody, Jughead sighs and splashes some water on his face. Jughead doesn't have to tell her about his fight with Betty, or about the part where he didn't want to trade his soulmate for anyone else. He can speak to her without any filter, without minding what he says, she's already in his thoughts. 

_I know. But, when she asked me if I could change things, and I didn't immediately say 'Yes, I would want you to be my soulmate.' I think she might've taken a little offense to that._

_I'm getting divorced right now. We're going to have make some changes..._

And Jughead misses her. He actually physically misses her, and he's sick of not being able to touch her. He knows she's frustrated and tired too. She's been waking up in the bed that she used to share with her husband, alone, for almost two weeks. But, neither of them have talked about meeting in person. They both know that the second they do, the change in their lives is cemented. There's no turning around, there's no waking up.

They'll be together forever. Bonded.

_I know._

Walking back to the kitchen, Jughead grabs the coffee pot, forgetting how hot the handle gets, and immediately burned his hand on the handle. Biting his bottom lip to keep from screaming and startling his neighbors through the thin apartment walls, Jughead cursed in his head.

_Fuck!_

_Shit!_

He grabbed his burning hand in pain, turning to the sink to run cold water over his hand. He hears his soulmate hiss and feels her pause at the same time that he does.

_I just burned my hand._

She waits a few seconds before groaning.  _I know, I felt it._

They both stop at the same time.

_This isn't good._

_No, it's not._

They both knew it meant their soul bond was getting stronger, meaning it wouldn't be long before them being apart would start to mean bad things for them and even the people around them.

Jughead kept his hand under the cold water, waiting until the sting numbed and his hand was only red. The pain subsided enough for him to turn off the water, but he stopped before leaving the kitchen.

_Are you okay?_

_Yeah, just wrap it in some ice, this is my sketching hand._

Following her instructions, Jughead set his hand on the frozen food from the freezer, and sighed.

This was getting more and more complicated by the day. Sharing their thoughts and sharing their pain was one thing, but he knew what came next. Eventually as their bond strengthened because of their constant lack of physical connection they'd start to share memories, they'd know each other's exact location, and if they weren't joined by then, the clock would start.

_Hey, do you have a minute?_

_Well, considering you just burned our dominant hand, I won't be doing much work for a while._

He doesn't miss how she said 'our', as if their body parts are another thing they already share.

_What are we going to do?_

She pauses for a beat and if he knew what she looked like, Jughead could imagine her shrugging. _E_ _ventually, we'll have to meet. There's really no getting around that._

He knows. Some day, he'll have to sit Betty down for real, and explain that he had to leave. He'd have to explain there's a person, possibly on the other side of the world calling to him, and he can't ignore it anymore. He'd have to break his girlfriend's heart.

But, it's his soulmate for Christ's sake.

And he hates the term, he hates the phrase, he hates what he's learned about it. He knows the meaning. He hates knowing that there's someone out there who shares pieces of his soul. She'll be able to look at him and see all the secrets that he's been able to hide from Betty for all these years.

And what if she doesn't accept it?

What if she looks at him and sees him and doesn't like what she sees? Not only will he know, but he'll be stuck knowing for the rest of his life. She'll be stuck with someone she despises and he won't be able to change that.

He could never live with knowing that his own soulmate hated him, but she stayed because she had no choice. It's the one thing that could kill him from the inside out.

Maybe that was the point. Maybe that's why Betty wasn't soulmate. Regardless of what he said out loud, Jughead knew he had Betty's acceptance. There was this fear that had to come with meeting his soulmate. There would be one person in the world that he couldn't hide from.

He wouldn't be able to lie to her, or spin her one of the stories he's so good at writing. She'd see through it all. It would only take one look for her to see the things that he's done, the person that he truly is. That probably wouldn't scare him so much if he knew who he truly was. If he knew that deep down he was actually a good person, he wouldn't be so worried. But, it's the wavering that makes him scared. The things that should've marred his soul were nothing more than a passing bruise. 

All of the things that he's done and pushed that would've left any other person broken and in therapy were things he never really looked back on.

Maybe that's why he was so good at writing a good villain in his novels.

It was always the character that could relate to. It was always the character that he could look at and see himself in. 

The villain was always the easiest character for him to write because it felt like looking in a mirror.

He hopes to every deity there is that his soulmates believes in redemption.

* * *

 Veronica looked at the pink skin on the palm of her right hand. Her dumb ass soulmate kept his hand on the ice while he sat on the couch.

Damn soul bond.

_Sorry about that. Sometimes I act before I think._

Veronica rolled her eyes.  _Obviously. How did you almost die and ruin both of our lives anyways?_

Even in his head he sighs and recounts the story of how the building caught on fire and instead of running out, he stayed to make sure the people in boardroom got out.

It was chivalrous and honest.

And it was another indication of what Veronica already knew. 

He was too good for her.

Veronica knew that if it was her, she would be the first person out, her main focus would be her own safety. He, of course, did the good thing. The honest thing.

She ran her hand through her hair. They were bound together, inseparable from the second they met. Her life would forever be linked to his and vice versa. She couldn't help but feel like he'd be disappointed once he met her.

If she was honest, Veronica knew that physically, there was nothing she lacked. She was gorgeous, that was obvious. But, she also knew that there were things below the surface that weren't so pretty. Things that would send any potential lover running for the hills. There were things about her childhood, her past, that not even Archie knew. She could fool any man or woman for a night, for weeks, for months even. 

But, her soulmate would see it instantly. He would see all of the shit she's done in her life. And he wouldn't be able to leave her, and she couldn't leave him. He would know who she truly was, she couldn't manipulate him into staying away, she couldn't do anything of the things her parents taught her. He'd be immune to it. He'd be immune to her tricks. Once they met, he'd know every dark thought she tried to hide. He'd understand every immediate instinct that she burns down. He'll know her every hiding spot. 

He'll bring her to the light.

Archie never could. He liked to think that he could, but he didn't even know when she was lying to him. He didn't know when she was manipulating him, sometimes only out of pure instinct.

It hits her like a ton of bricks.

Right there on her office couch, she realizes that maybe- _maybe_ , she doesn't love Archie.

Maybe when she looked at him she knew he was safe instead of feeling safe. Veronica hasn't felt safe in years because it's something her parents taught her. Never get too comfortable. Always be prepared to cut and run.

No low was too low for her. Rock bottom could always be deeper. 

That's why she didn't love Archie like she always said she did. Veronica always knew there was a way out with Archie, she always had an exit plan, a way to leave and never look back. Even when he told he loved her, even when he proposed, even when they bought the apartment together. At every milestone, Veronica knew she could leave.

And that's why he wasn't her soulmate.

There would be no way to leave her soulmate. There would be no escape plan, no way to walk away. He'd always know where she was. He'd be able to hold her heart in the palm of his hand, her thoughts would always be on his lips. He'd know her better than anyone.

He'd know her better than her own parents.

On top of the light sting in her hand, she'd have to call her lawyer later. 

The divorce was not going as smoothly as she had hoped. Archie was fighting her every step of the way.

Maybe he was hoping that she would fight back. He was hoping that he wasn't as expendable as she was making him feel. He was wrong.

For every small asset, he had an argument prepared as to why he should get it, and she simply nodded and told him could have it if he wanted it. When the proceedings started, he packed his stuff and told her he was going to stay at a hotel. She only nodded and told him not forget his toothbrush.

He made sure to watch her face as he took their wedding photo off the dresser and she made sure to keep her face as emotionless as possible. She knew it burned him, she knew it drove him crazy when she shut him out, but she had to.

How could he not be searching for his own soulmate?

How could he not spend every second of every day wondering where that person was and what they were doing and if they were eating?

She did that all the time with hers. Sometimes, she stopped working to check in on him, to make sure he ate lunch and showered and went outside for fresh air. His thoughts became background noise in her head. It was one of her small comforts, knowing that even she slept alone at night, ate breakfast alone in the mornings, and sat alone in her office, she wasn't really alone.

Speaking of her soulmate, he chimes in. How's _your hand?_

She looks at the light pink of her palm and shakes her head.  _Better, you can take the ice off if you want._

_Sorry._

_It's fine, it barely hurts._

_Not about the burn, about almost dying._

He never apologized for it, she realizes belatedly. A beat passes. He almost died. She would've gone the rest of her life without knowing her real soulmate.

 _When it happened, I was so scared. I felt like_ **_I_ ** _was dying. God, my lungs burned. I thought they were on fire. I was crying and running, there was sweat dripping all over my body. It was kind of disgusting. I remember thinking, 'I haven't run in years, what the hell am I doing?' I felt like throwing up. And, through that, I kept running, I kept thinking maybe if I was just a bit faster, I could get to you. I have never felt fear like that in my life._

There's a silence that follows, her words just echo in his head.

 _I'm_ _sorry._ He repeats, sounding even more sincere than he was before, Veronica didn't know how that was possible, but he did.

She waits before answering.  _I'm not._

It's honest and raw, something he always seems to bring out in her.

Veronica's good at lying, to her (ex) husband, to her friends, to her parents, and sometimes even to herself.

But, there's one person she can't lie to.

And with her past blurring the edges of the truth...

She hopes to hell that her soulmate believes in redemption.

* * *

 Veronica and Jughead were soulmates in the most basic of senses.

A series of shared dreams started when they were little.

The ones that stuck with Veronica were the ones where she was split in two pieces. She woke up crying and sweating, tangled in her silk sheets.

The one that stuck with Jughead were the one where the sun shines through the windows in bedroom. He woke up warm in a cold bed, smiling in spite of the things he had to do.

Pieces of Veronica lived inside of Jughead and vice versa. In her core, Veronica thrived with Jughead.

They were hundreds of years in the making, them being apart was not in the plans. 

Weird bouts of depression came after Veronica throughout her teenage years, much like unusual periods joy filled Jughead through his hellish teenage years as well. Their most intense feelings were shared during their most hormonal and vulnerable years.

Both were under the intense eyes of their community, Veronica through her parents and the business, and Jughead through the Southside Serpents. It was important that they remain strong and stoic. It was on their shoulders to carry their separate communities through intense times.

Veronica had to hold the business up when the stock market took a deep dive when she was 16.

Then, when a rival gang started up a turf war with the Serpents, it was up to Jughead to keep the body count low and keep the Serpents on top.

They grew up too fast for their own good.

They've lost too much.

In the most basic of senses, Veronica and Jughead were soulmates.

From the start of the universe, they were hundreds of years in the making.

They couldn't stay apart for much longer.


	7. just pretend we're better (turn out the lights)

Veronica walked into the room and took a seat next to her lawyer. Archie usually showed up a few minutes after her, 

"So, this is almost over right?" She asked him, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "Just a few more thing to sign and then this is over?"

He nodded and smiled. He was a kind man with salt and pepper hair, he looked like TV dad, bright eyes and wistful smile. Jack Cutter was almost a surrogate father for Veronica. He was the complete antithesis of her own dad. He was nice and honest, he constantly took her side and regularly checked in on her. 

"Yes, if he doesn't contest anything else, this should be over by this Thursday." 

Veronica proceeded to ask him about his week and how things were going for him. Jack was one of the few people she enjoyed talking to. He always made her laugh and gave her little trinkets that lined her office and her desk both at work and at home. His jokes were old but funny, and he always spoke with a sort of wisdom that had her intrigued.

The conversation stopped abruptly when Archie walked in with his lawyer. Immediately Jack straightened up. He lost his kind smile and set his face into a hard look that Veronica admired.

Archie's lawyer was a pretty, yet annoying woman. She had blonde hair that looked too platinum to be real. Her voice was slightly shrill and her pantsuits didn't fit her like they should. Arlene Baker was a sickeningly sweet smile and Veronica thinks she'd be a lot prettier if she just waxed her eyebrows and put on some blush every now and then. Her facial structure was gorgeous and as far as raw beauty, it was obviously there. But, she refused to even attempt to put on anything more than her usual weekly workwear. 

Veronica knows that if this was a movie, she'd be the rich, yet kind popular girl who gives girls like Arlene Baker and tells her to go by her middle name which is probably something smooth, like Delilah.

"I have talked with Mr. Andrews and he has decided that he would like to withdraw his petition for the dissolution of his marriage with Veronica Lodge." 

Veronica opened her mouth and then closed it. Looking at Archie, she balled her fists, but stopped herself from speaking. Taking a slow breath, she leaned over to her lawyer and whispered her reply in his ear.

Cutter leaned away and then turned back to the table. "Ms. Lodge wants to know why."

"Mr. Andrews feels that maybe he acted in haste when he called for a divorce." Arlene glances at Archie who nods in agreement. "He feels maybe they should try counseling before making such rash and final decisions."

Veronica's eyes narrow when she looks at him. Clearing her throat, she speaks. "Jack? Arlene? Could you please clear the room and give Archie and I just a quick second?" Jack nods and Arlene follows shortly after him after receiving confirmation from Archie.  

Waiting for the door to shut, Veronica groans and rolls her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm fighting for us, Ronnie. With is a lot more than what I can say for you." Archie argued, throwing his hands up in the air. "I mean, you're acting like we were never even married to begin with."

Instead of responding, Veronica counts to 100 by fives. Looking at the ceiling and then around the spacious office, her mind immediately drifts to her soulmate, who's still sleeping. She thinks of the type of man that would hang back and make sure people got out of a burning building. The thought makes her heart flutter a little.

Just as she begins speaking, Archie cuts her off, throwing his hands up. "And I don't want to hear that crap about us not being soulmates! We both know that soulmate stuff is a bunch of garbage. I mean, how much did you believe in it anyways?

"C'mon, it's a bunch of garbage! You know that? Like, you're supposed to be able to feel when someone is about to die? It's ridiculous."

For a second, Veronica wonders if he's right.

She wonders if maybe she's actually just been losing her mind, maybe this is all some delusion or a hallucination, maybe this is the brink of insanity.

Maybe she is crazy?

Maybe she's actually losing her grip.

But, no.

She could feel it. It was too real to simply be a part of her imagination. The pain ripping the breath from her lungs was real. The comfort she felt when realized her soulmate is still alive was real. The wind brushing over her skin when she was having a panic attack. 

It was real. It was all real, she could feel it.

And that voice in her head, idly speaking, running through ideas. The voice comforting her in the dark of her room at night, bouncing ideas back and forth with her, soothing her quick worries throughout the day. The way he consulted her and answered her honestly. He randomly spoke to her throughout the day, checking in on her. He always made sure she was alright before she went to bed. Occasionally, he'd tell her a story if she couldn't sleep, even if she could hear the tiredness weaving in and out of his words. It was like background music keeping her from feeling the way she'd been feeling since high school.

Alone.

That voice was real.

Her soulmate is real. He's out there and he's waiting for her. He's sleeping on the couch because he's real. He writes books and he drinks just as much coffee as she does. He reads and he mumbles in his sleep.

Rising to her feet, Veronica's posture stiffens. "Archie, if you stop the proceedings, I will file a motion to continue them with me as the petitioner if I have to and get the divorce." Her voice is cold and honest. "I will start this proceedings all over again if I have to."

Archie looks back at her in complete shock and disbelief. Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, he sets his hands on his hips and scoffs. Then, he tensed up and stared back at Veronica accusingly. 

"Why didn't you change your last name?" Archie whispers, voice filling with understanding.

Veronica stared back at him, "What?"

"You never changed your last name, you never even considered it. Why?"

"I didn't want to."

As the gears turned in his head, he continued arguing with Veronica. "You didn't create a joint back account."

"We had separate assets, Archie. Why would we do something like that if our money was already divided?"

They went on like that for a while. Archie noting each instant where he thought Veronica had one foot out the door and Veronica shooting it down with a logical reason she had thought up before they even got married.

Then, Archie circled the table while Veronica looked at him, completely unaffected. "You didn't want kids."

This easily sets Veronica off, boiling her blood and waking up her soulmate in the process. "So?"

"What? Did you know that I wasn't your soulmate all along and that's why you didn't want kids with your damn husband, Veronica!?"

Anger bubbled underneath Veronica's skin as she gestured to herself and her face turned red. "No, I've never wanted kids! I told you that a long time ago and you thought it was just my career. I have never desired to be a mother, regardless of who wants the children!"

"Maybe it was just you being the selfish jerk that you always are. That's why you had that procedure two years ago!" Archie argued back. "You did it because you knew the truth and you knew that divorcing me would be harder if there were kids in this."

Balling her fists, Veronica let the hate fill her words. "The abortion! Say it, Archie. Stop saying "procedure" and "surgery" like it wasn't my decision to make in the first place. I had an abortion because I do not want children. I don't want any kids! Not from my womb, not adopted, not from anyone."

"Because God forbid somebody have some input in your decisions." Archie threw his hands up, yelling back at her.

"God forbid, someone try to have an opinion about something that you do. God forbid the great, beautiful, all knowing Veronica Lodge, try to compromise with someone, even her damn husband! There is give and take in a marriage, in a relationship. Everything can't be your way all the time."

"It's a baby! You can't go "halfsies" on a child. There is no compromise, you either have one or you don't. You either want one or you don't! I don't! You do. You ignored that fact." Veronica spat back, defiance bleeding through her words. "You can't seem to understand that children were never in my plans. Not from you, not from anyone! Maybe if you were actually my soulmate, you would be able to understand that!"

This quickly shuts Archie up and Veronica crosses her arms. 

They stay silent for a few tense minutes before Veronica sighs. 

Gathering up her things, she walks to the door. Setting her hand on the handle, she pauses to catch her breath. "If you stop the proceedings, I will restart them. Don't make this harder than it has to be Archie."

Exiting, she relays her instructions to Jack and then leaves the courthouse, finger nails digging into her palms.

* * *

 Jughead's sleep was peaceful, mostly. His soulmate woke him up with hot anger boiling in her stomach, thus causing it to boil in his stomach as well. His face was hot when he got up and he could feel the palms of his hands burning and bruising.

_Hey, you gotta calm down. You're hurting our hands._

Immediately the tight pain in his hands let up and he felt the tension uncoiling from the base of her neck.

_Sorry, I forgot that I'm sharing this._

Jughead cracked his back as he stretched.  _It's alright. What's got you so wind up anyways?_

_Am I going crazy?_

The question is so sincere that it catches Jughead off guard and he can hear the worry lacing her thoughts and he knew that he was not supposed to hear that one. But, his soulmate continues speaking.

_I can't be crazy because this is real. It's real. I can feel his heart beating in my chest, our chest, everyday. I can hear his thoughts in a voice that I've never heard before. He says things that I would never say. Unless I have dissociative identity disorder. That would explain a lot. But, it's not a personality. It's a separate person with a separate life. Isn't that what those people say? God, I do think I'm losing my mind._

For some reason, this breaks Jughead's heart. His soulmate is out there thinking she's going crazy because of him. Hearing her fight with herself over what's real and what's not. Listening to the woman that he's loved since the beginning of forever toil over whether or not she had lost touch with reality made his stomach drop out. 

Slowing his breath, he inhales slowly and breathes out. He knows her is heart racing right next to her mind. Instead of speaking, he finds that feeling that he locks away.

It's the one that overtakes him when she's singing while she showers. The one that bubbles up in him when she's aimlessly describing the favorite parts of a book their reading. The feeling that fills him up when she laughs at some joke he's told. It's the same one that wraps around him when she's sleeping and still trying to talk to him.

He gives her some of that feeling and notices how she stops thinking entirely. Her mind shuts up completely in favor of focusing on what he just gave her. He wasn't sure what it was or how to describe it.

All he knew was that he had it and he wasn't sure what to do with it.

So, he gave it to her and let her decide what it was. She didn't speak, he just felt her slow down enough for him to speak to her.

 _Do you feel that?_ Jughead asked, speaking slowly enough for her to not have to think too hard to listen to him.  _This is real. What we have and what I feel about you is real. My voice is real and I am real. I promise you that._

Her mind processes his words much slower than usual. But, he takes it because it's happening.

Jughead understands because he's been there before. He's written so many words, so many pages of so many chapters of so many books, sometimes the lines start to blur between what's real and what's not. Getting a grip on what he's created and what he's feeling and differentiating it from what's actually in front of him drives him wild some days.

With her, it's even worse. 

She's nothing like the characters in his books. He couldn't write a woman like her if he wanted to. She was kind and strong, loud and opinionated, somehow strong and gentle at the same time. 

But, that was the thing. She was too good. Too perfect for him to believe. They've been talking for almost a month now and they haven't argued once. Of course, sometimes they get snippy with each other when they're tired or stressed, but he can  _feel_ her stress, and she can feel his anxiety. She tells him the truth, all the time. She likes the books and the movies he likes. 

It was like she was made for him, or maybe he was made for her. Maybe they were just made for each other.

He wasn't sure.

In fact, Jughead wasn't sure of a lot of things. Sometimes he wonders if he just dreamed her up. He wonders if he's actually in a coma from the fire and any second he'll wake up and realize that none of this was real. It was just his subconscious dredging up some unfinished business that he refused to see a therapist for. There were too many variables, too much they didn't know about each other.

He didn't know where she grew up, what her family was like, hell, he didn't even know her damn name. How could they be soulmates if they always refused to talk about the things that actually mattered? 

That could be proof that she was only a figment of his imagination. He never talked about his family or his past with anyone, he wouldn't push the boundaries with a creation from his mind. 

The characters he wrote about were just so freaking  _real_. Jughead's strong suit was writing characters that were believable, the kind that people connected with, characters that you could hate or love. He knew how to write deep, intuitive characters with clean looks and shady pasts.

Still, how would he write a woman like her? 

He couldn't write a woman so complex and ambitious. He couldn't even imagine writing a woman as driven and brilliant at her. She matched him intellectually, word for word. Comment for comment, each movie and book reference was caught and flipped. 

She had Jughead enamored from the second they began talking. He was so wrapped up in her, some days he didn't speak out loud at all.

Some days, he'd just listen to her think and he'd write and then he'd sleep. To him, nothing was more interesting than her thoughts. 

Her mind was beautiful, it went so fast and somehow she'd always keep track of it. She was a creative thinker and still rational at the same time. She could think on the same wavelength as him. She knew what he was trying to write, what he was trying to say. 

She got him.

Maybe it was too good to be true.

* * *

_Jughead's never seen these people before in his life. He knows he's asleep, but this doesn't feel like a dream. It feels too real._

_The air is too tangible on his skin. The cold bite of the wind on his cheeks is just this side of annoying._

_Looking around, he's standing in an empty parking lot. He's not sure what city he's in, or even what state. There's a beat of silence before he hears clicking on the concrete. There's a teenage girl, about 15 or 16 years old, walking towards him in a dark black coat._

_"Hey!" He calls out, sighing in relief. "I'm sorry, do you know what's going on?"_

_But, she doesn't answer, she keeps walking towards him. Then, she walks straight through him._

_It's a weird and unsettling feeling, but it doesn't hurt._

_Her hair is long and dark, it matches the color of her coat. Her hands are stuffed in her pocket and she looks too graceful in walking in heels on icy pavement. Her skin is tan and contrasts deeply with the white snow falling in her hair._

_She simply stands for a moment, taking in the sight around her. A small smile pulls on the edges of her lips and falls as fast as it came. A man walks up to her dressed in a t shirt and jeans. He's mumbling. Her face is straight and passive and Jughead's watching, completely enthralled._

_The girl is about 10 years younger than him, but she looks so much older than him. She frowns and her back is ramrod straight. The man looks to be about thirty, an unsavory looking character. He's unshaven and large, his clothes look old, and he looks gruff._

_She watches him as he comes closer and Jughead notices as her shoulders tense._

_The man grunts out something_ _unintelligible and when she tilts her head, he repeats himself._

_"Why'd they send a little girl out here to talk to me?" He drawled out long and slow. But, she remained unaffected by his apparent insult. "Your parents forget that I only speak to the big guys in business? I suppose I could find some use for you." He walked closer, his smile sharp and dirty._

_However, the girl didn't even flinch as he advanced on her. When he got closer, she pulled her right hand out of the pocket of her coat, revealing a pistol. The man barely had any time to react before she fired off a shot directly in his groin. He staggered back and went down. She closed the distance between them and stood over his bleeding body._

_"I'm sorry, Mr. Hines, but the Lodges feel that you don't conduct business efficiently enough for you to stay with us. We've decided it's best to terminate your current contract with us." She got him again, twice. One in each eye._

_Jughead had done enough research to know what that meant._

_This was a mob hit._

_She didn't even flinch or recoil when she shot him. She barely even blinked. She simply slid the gun back into her pocket and calmly walked off._

_The man bled out the ground and she didn't even look back._

_Who the hell was this girl?_


	8. it's you i've been missing (maybe it's the beginning)

_The air is humid and thick around Veronica. A fog has settled around what appears to be a dark forest. There's almost no light out and she doesn't know where she is._

_Veronica groans and wonders what kind of lame dream this is. Still, the atmosphere feels to real, too familiar. Like, she knows what happened, or what's going to happen here. She looked over her shoulder and at her surroundings. She's never even been here before. But, it's all too physical on her skin. There's moist dirt sticking to her heels and the mist rising from the ground is wetting her ankles._

_"Hello!" Veronica screams, looking for some sort of soul around. "Is anyone here?" She's already annoyed with scene and just wants to wake up._

_She hears the sound of bikes, motorcycles actually, and spins around. Briefly, she wonders if this just another bad horror plot. Everyone looked to be no older than 16, but their faces were grim, almost exhausted. Kind of like they'd seen too many bad things to be young and vibrant. Yet, nobody seemed to acknowledge her._

_"Excuse me?" But, she is only ignored. "Hello!"_

_A tall guy with a snake tattoo on his neck held a struggling person by her arm while a girl with pink hair held the person by their other arm. They both looked stressed and angry._

_Older men and women stood by their bikes in the back, arms crossed over their chest, faces annoyed and pissed, the lights from their motorcycles made it to hard for Veronica to see the features on their face. A young man with dark hair and a beanie on walked toward her while the boy and the girl stood behind him._

_The woman sat on her knees looking sweaty, but having no visible bruises. "Where am I?" She huffed, staring up at the teenagers._

_They all donned leather jackets with snakes on the back. 'The words Southside Serpents' were scrawled across the back._

_Veronica watched with rapt attention as a young man spoke to the blonde woman on the ground who wore a sick smirk on her face. His face was straight and he walked with confidence, like he knew what he was doing, but she could see underneath. Veronica's parents taught her how to see and exploit weaknesses. It was obvious this was his first time doing anything like this. She could see the way he stuffed his hands in his pockets to keep them from visibly shaking._

_"You're in Greendale," He said, surveying the forest before looking back to her. "But, frankly, Penny, I don't care where you set up shop."_

_He sunk down to look her in the eyes, his face showing no weakness. "But, it's not going to be in Riverdale. And it's not going to be with the Serpents. You want to deal drugs? You want to extort people? But, not on the Southside, that belongs to us!"_

_At the mention of Riverdale, Veronica tries to summon up all of her prior knowledge about the town. Her parents grew up in Riverdale before they moved to New York City to raise her. They never really talked about their childhood or what it was like growing up there. She's never visited, she never had a reason, and her parents never gave her one. She kept her business and her life in New York City, and never thought about anything else._

_She walked up closer and watched as he continued speaking only to be interrupted by the blonde on the ground._

_"You stupid, cocky kid." She chuckled, rolling her eyes. Pulling up her jacket sleeve, she stretched out her arm to display a tattoo similar to the snake design on her jacket. "Serpent law says you can't hurt one of your own."_

_He scoff and rises to his full height again. "Oh, Penny," He turned and walked back to his bike as he shrugged off his jacket._

_"Grab her." He called over his shoulder as he gave his jacket to one of the guys standing in the back. The boy and the girl rush to her side, taking her arms in their grip once again._

_Penny immediately fights back, shaking and attempting to push them off. But, their grip is tight and the boy comes back._

_"It's about time you learned." He rushes back in her face, dropping to his knees in front of her. "That tattoo doesn't make you a Serpent."_

_He dug the knife into the light skin of her forearm, cutting and scraping until the tattoo was completely obliterated. Penny screamed and writhed in pain, and the boy ignored her. Once, he was finished, he stepped up and back and shook his head._

_The boy and girl pulled back, leaving the woman crying in pain, bleeding on the ground._

_The other boy rode off on his motorcycle without even looking back at her._

_Who the hell is he?_

* * *

 Jughead takes the day off to figure out what the hell was in that dream. The internet only took him so far, and he was looking for something specific. So, he had to go old school.

"Jughead!" Lieutenant McCoy smiled as Jughead walked through the doors. "Back for some more murder mystery research?" 

Shaking his head, Jughead adjusted the bag on his shoulder. "Sort of. I've been wanting to ask you about a murder."

Leading Jughead into her office, Lt. McCoy nodded. "Sure, you know I've always got time for my favorite writer." Shutting the door behind him, McCoy takes a seat at her desk and leans back in her chair. "What can I do for you?"

Jughead wiped his palms on his jeans as he sat down. Pulling out his notepad and recorder, Jughead dug in his bag for the papers he got from the library. "I need to know everything you know about the Lodges, and a murder from about 10 years ago, in a parking lot most likely."

McCoy waits for a second, and then gets up from her desk and leaves. For a second, Jughead thinks he's said or done something wrong, but then McCoy comes back with two boxes. She drops them both on the desk. It's a heavy thud and she plops back down in her chair.

"Everyone studies the Genovese, Gambinos, the Bonannos, the Lucchese, but of course you come in asking about the Lodges." McCoy sighs, resting her hands on her knees. "The Lodges, what do you want to know?"

"Everything you can tell me." Jughead answered, setting his device to record, and flipping to a fresh page.

Pausing, McCoy nodded. "The reason nobody studies the Lodges is because they're good at what they do. They're the best. All the signs would point to them, and then all the signs would disappear. They stole, no regrets. They extorted, no guilt. They killed, no remorse. The Lodges raised generations of stone-cold killers, men and women alike. Sons, daughters, husbands, wives, everyone had a part in it. Nobody could tell them they couldn't do anything."

Jughead scribbled down what she was saying, noting the change in McCoy's tone.

"The Lodges are close, they know family and they do it better than anybody else. They'd go to jail for each other, they'd die for each other. It was all loyalty, from the day they were born or married, to the day they died. The latest generation was probably the most ruthless."

McCoy opened the box and pulled out the file. Opening it for Jughead to look at, she pointed to a picture of a man with dark hair and twisted smile on his face. "This is Hiram Lodge, he brought the Lodge family to it's modern day infamy. He tried it all from his teen years, he was being groomed to take over the Lodges and bring them to the top. And, that's exactly what he did. Drugs, money laundering, grand larceny, extortion, fraud, racketeering, witness tampering you name it, he did it, he dipped his hand in everything. And, he put his wife in it too."

"His wife?" Maybe that was the woman he saw in his dream. But, Jughead looked at the picture of Hiram Lodge and his date of birth and realized he would be too old to have married the girl in the dream. Or, at least he hoped he was. The Lodges drew the line somewhere right? "He forced her to commit crimes?"

"We think so, we could never prove it. Every time we thought we had him on something, his wife would come in and sweep it all up. And vice versa. We're not sure what kept them together, their love for each other, or their love for power. Whatever it was, it kept them tight."

Jughead flipped through the pages of alleged crimes, and how each time Hiram and Hermione Lodge skated by. He read through in silence while McCoy rocked back in her chair. Each page seemed to be even more exciting than the last. There were detailed accounts of eyewitnesses being killed, video tapes being destroyed, homes being burned down. Somehow they kept getting away with it.

But, then Jughead saw something that he noticed earlier in the library. Pulling out the newspaper, he looked at the dates and then back at the dates on Hermione's files. Flipping back to Hiram's files, Jughead's notion is confirmed.

"What is it?" McCoy asked when she saw Jughead's face wrinkling up in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Checking the dates again, Jughead pointed, "There's a lull in the last few months of '99 to the first few years of the 2000s." He rounds the desk to show McCoy. "They're consistently working for months and then all of a sudden, it's radio silence for about 2 years, and even when they pick back up again it's still pretty dull until around the mid 2010s."

McCoy nodded, "We thought Hermione was pregnant. But, we couldn't find anything to confirm. Nobody saw her, or a kid. There were no birth records, no prenatal visits or checkups, no OBGYN, no midwife, no overnight hospital stays, they never so much as bought a diaper."

"You think they might've hidden their child?" Jughead wondered as he continued to examine the empty years of the early 2000s. "Why would they do that?"

Shrugging, McCoy tapped her desk. "A secret weapon? A new made member? Plus, new kids are invaluable assets. Their talents are limitless, they're like blank slates. Secret kids are strong because nobody ever sees them coming,"

The information floors Jughead.

McCoy adds, "We think it might've been a girl."

* * *

 Veronica wakes up in a cold sweat. Her skin is clammy and wet. 

The dream leaves her shaken up for the rest of the day. She knows it shouldn't bother her, but with everything she's in her life time, some things still touch her core. 

She tries to shake the feeling off. Yet, even at work, she can't stop thinking about it. Her mind stays on the woman bleeding out on the ground, crying and screaming in pain. The blood spilling on the ground, and the boy's complete apathy to her pain.

Something about the scene wouldn't leave her alone. She couldn't pinpoint it, but it leaves her barely able to focus at work. There's so many more important things she needs to worry about.

Veronica needs to think about her responsibilities at work. She had client to design for, shows to run, clothing and fabrics to look at for the next season. There was no shortage of things for Veronica to occupy her mind with. Normally, it wouldn't be hard for her to lose herself in her work. 

Today, she just can't seem to be seem to get into it. She can't hold her pencil, she can't look at her designs, everything feels so wrong. She shouldn't be working. So, she only gets through the technical things. All creativity is put on hold for the mechanics as she finishes the logistics of her work. She looks at the lighting, the length of the runway, the position of the chairs, everything that goes into putting on a good fashion show

It's boring, but she's glad she has it today. At least she didn't waste her day doing nothing.

That doesn't change the fact that her dream still hasn't left her.

She's not even sure if she could call it a dream, it felt so real. Almost like a memory, the experience felt so real to her. Only, she couldn't tell what part of the experience was real. The emotions swirling through her as she watched the scene weren't normal. 

She should've been appalled, scared, or even sad, but she felt none of those things. Instead, she identified with boy in it. She felt like she knew him, like she knew why he did it, like they were one in the same.

And, if the event was real, maybe she could find it.

Still, it shouldn't even matter to her. She's had dozens of dreams like this before, it shouldn't stick with her like. She's usually able to forget it by lunch, but by the late afternoon it's still stuck with her. It's sitting in the forefront of her mind and it's removing itself. It's not falling away into the sea of forgotten dreams like she's used to.

This boy in her dreams looked ruthless, young but hardened by life.

By the time the day is over, she's incapable of thinking of anything else. 

The dream is still fresh in her mind, so when she gets back to her apartment, she sketches out the image of his face.

It's rough, but it's as much as she can remember.

Digging through an old bag in her closet, she pulls out a locked box, and then the burner cellphone sitting inside. Sighing as she holds the picture in her hand, Veronica falls back on her butt, the hardwood cold against the skin of her thighs. Pulling up her legs, she lies back on the floor with he phone in one hand and the picture in the other.

One call and she knows she could end this all. Veronica could find the boy from her dreams and know where he is and his name and probably his entire family history by tomorrow afternoon. But, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. It would've been a quick and easy solution. Yet, somehow it felt like a huge deal to her. She doesn't know this boy and he doesn't know her. And still, she can't bring herself to make the call, cure her curiosity, and forget about him.

Looking at the sketch, Veronica admires her handiwork. She used to love drawing, she could sketch almost anything from memory, it was almost like her superpower. But, there's something about this that seems too familiar, like she's seen this face before.

Like she knows this face.

Contemplating if it was worth it, Veronica groans out loud, frustrated and tired.

_You alright, roomie?_

Chuckling, she forgot her soulmate always seemed to be 'on the line', regardless of whether or not she needed him. He'd been kind of quiet today. However, that also might have been Veronica so focused on her own thoughts, she wasn't even considering his.

_Yeah, it's just been a long day._

It's not a lie, and it's also not completely the truth. 

Yet, her soulmate can always see straight through her, even if he can't see her.

_Of course, but now why don't you tell me what's going on? It's better than invading your privacy and rifling through your mind. If you don't count the fact that your mind is my mind, making it our mind, meaning it's not really an invas-_

_Okay!_

Veronica rolls her eyes, knowing the motion was in vain because he can feel her exasperation, the motion was useless.

Hesitating, she sighs,  _Have you ever worried that sometimes you might not be able outrun your past? Like, no matter what you do, you'll always be the your parent's child, and never anybody else?_

Her soulmate pauses before answering,  _Yeah, I have._

When he doesn't continue, she presses, _What did you do about it?_ There's a weird pang of melancholy filling her thoughts before there's a bright explosion of joy that makes her heart lighter. She knows she doesn't have to ask, but she knows the importance of personal even if you're sharing the most personal of spaces with someone. So, she still questions,  _What are you thinking about?_

Veronica can feel the smile in his thoughts before he answers,  _I was thinking about how I stayed in a burning building to save people I didn't know to prove that I wasn't like my dad, and how it turned may life upside down. And, how I met my soulmate because of it._ There's a smile taking over Veronica's face before she can help it.  _Your past is your past, there's no running away from it. Yeah, sometimes our parents can fuck us over before life even gets it's foot in the door, but you don't have to be like them. You can always choose to be someone different._

Exhaling in relief, Veronica's mind thinks before she can even properly filter the thought,  _I think I might love him._

It startles her and him at the same time because they both know that thought was supposed to be for her and herself alone.

But, before she can apologize, or even stammer out something close it, he responds, _Oh, thank God, I thought it was just me._

After their mutual admissions, her soulmate falls asleep, but Veronica stays up.

It's late and his words still bounce around in her mind, and she supposes he's learned to sleep through all of her overthinking.

The cellphone is still in her hand, and the darkness of her room acts as her cover.

Dialing the the familiar number, she knows the person on the other end will answer, not caring what time it is.

"Hello?" The light voice answers.

Veronica sighs, "Lieutenant McCoy..."


End file.
